you called me cute, beautiful, and so much more.
i was your favorite back burner, the forgotten tool in your back pocket when you felt like using it.
you were the prime example of what “back and forth” looked like.
you stated copious amount of times how “you felt” when we were together.
rehearsed and overused the classic phrase “i feel like myself when i am with you”
you led me on, a “knowing” that even your own self had never accepted.
we both know what they say about the proof being in the pudding.
denial is a treacherous thing.
i let you have the benefit of the doubt.
when you crossed the line, i challenged you.
i questioned you.
i made sure you knew your boundaries with me.
if i hadnt, someone with such power as yourself, would willingly overuse it and wreck it.
you werent nice to me.
in fact, you were quite mean to me.
in turn, i protected myself.
i was but a joke.
my kindness and big heart overlooked.
you laughed in my face
you laughed at my face
you turned, those closest to you , against me; they joined in the laughing.
you dont think i hear? you dont think i had seen? was i born yesterday?
you have insulted my every dignity, my every intelligence, my every essence…
to let you go was to walk away from the hope in receiving the proper forgiveness i deserved.
to let you go was to create the forgiveness i should have received and walk on finding some ounce of good in the heartlessness you had showed me.
but who knows…
if being right is what you want then i will let you have it.
god forbid your self image gets shaken by an individual who knows and has experienced the dirty corners you skillfully hide away from the rest of the world.