The hemp, The Sea glass, & The daisy

why do we like a person whose intentions were never as authentic as yours towards them?

someone says they like you, they do all the things it takes to flirt and get closer to you. 

then they turn around and say that they never played mind games with you and they shame you for even calling them out on it….

like…why?

why do i see your face when i miss something?

like, why do i feel you in the spirit of my heart?

i have blocked you from my life, along with my memory….but why does the corner of my eye notice your face when it happens to pop up elsewhere?

you never really got it, did you……you were looking for things back then. falling into the arms of others. drinking your sorrows away. running and running from anything that made you feel…..but yet i was there…with you. watching you. literally, chasing you down streets of snow…making sure you were safe. that you were loved. that you were wanted….

yet, others were chosen over me. constantly.

you even ran elsewhere to find someone new. someone far away. so what? you can runaway from the thing you had to let go of?…..im sure it must look and feel like love….im sure you are happy…i would hope so.

i still cant help but wonder why i still give a fuck about you.

it could be the lack of apology. the lack of truth you never gave that i rightfully deserved. it could be the injustice you treated me with when i never deserved such treatment….

but it also could be because of my own beautiful heart. the very heart that i genuinly loved you with…..the very heart i moved on from you, with. 

its all just a mess

and all i know is that my insides still feel you

a connection that i find useless when we have never allowed each other to be present and involved in one anothers life….💥 😡🔫

-LH

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