it has been said that what is worse than telling a lie is spending your whole life staying true to that lie…… that was a wonderful, soul crushing, simplistic quote by robert brault….
if i knew anything….
remotly anything about you
one thing i WOULD know
is that it would not have mattered what baggage you carried with you when you met me. it would not have mattered what sorts of insecurities you hid.
it would not have mattered how many times or the DRASTIC measures you took to cover up your tracks; your dirty trails….
it would have not mattered all the punches, all the levels of hurt you took me through to finally rid yourself of me; to bleed me dry to the very core of my bone…
all the “others” you chose over me, to this day…
i would have still wanted to be the one truth in your life that could erase all other lies. all other hurts. all other inadequacies in your life.
the very arms you KNOW you could run into to catch you and put you back on your heart’s feet again.
the one thing that you couldnt let me in about is the one thing you denied me of loving; the very part in your deepest, darkest, corner of your soul that we both knew i could have helped you love. the very part i craved of you….
im a fucking idiot…shmuck really, for wanting anything and everything to do with you. your past, present, and future… still….
it has been you.
constantly taunting me
intensely consuming me
i crave you, still…
i still wait for you, my dear