Back To Where We Left Off

she keeps herself busy.

preoccupied most all of her time.

the thought of being alone,

let alone being alone with her own

thoughts and emotions,

sends a nauseating feeling throughout

her body.

thats probably why i cant find her.

thats probably why she chooses to stay away.

mabye anything or anyone that awakens the part(s) of her she tries to refrain from, she steps back to gain her controlled grip.

because at least that way, she is in control. mentally strong to withstand the chaos in her emotional heart that she refuses to talk to.

 im sure she swore to herself that she would be extra careful the next time around but….me and her met for a reason…and we got to each other emotionally, for a reason…

i wasnt all that crazy with my questions…she just had a hard time letting her grip go…i was open from the beginning…

she said she doesnt have time for the thing that i did to her…but i dont have time for people who make me do the thing that i did to her…i can not not be heard anymore…i can not be used anymore…i wish i told her sooner about my crazy…i wish she would see…i wish i would have handled it better…

we were two hurt little girls…both protective of our wounds…granted she was more closed off…both did try keeping a door cracked…

but they went to fast

and did not see the crash ahead.

both are alive, still moving…

mabye they’ll find where the other one went…

mabye they will both admit their wrongs.

mabye she will see that if she allows this to be fixed, this will be one thing in her life that got better, that got fixed, and that stayed…something she dared to let in…

mabye then we can learn to be better…thats what friends are for, right?…support, growing, rebuilding…

mabye…

-LH

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