My Butterfly Phoenix 

you know…

it is just like her

to fiddle her fingers in places she shouldnt be messing with.

sometimes i wonder how i could learn to trust someone of a sort…she has a haunting tendancy with me…i wouldnt be wrong in gathering she very well has other others in her back pocket to help distract her from being alone, with herself and the roots that require such a vital time which she refuses to fully embrace by herself.

Then again, who can blame my lack of trust…

they dont know her like i do,


they didnt see what i saw,
they didnt experience what i did.

she may give them exactly what it needs to sustain, until she feels it doesnt suit her anymore…

but she threw at me her ugly,

her darks,

her lies,

her thievery,

her un-sustainability…. 

with full force, she was relentless

yet she remained exquisite, to only me.

it is just like her to say words that hook you,

it is just like her to feed off of your smitten look,

it is like her to come and go as she pleases…

it is just like her to, then, stay away from

the one she knows she cant slip 

a fast one with…

because of the see-through ability

because of the challenge…

and what individual wants to be confronted

with the reminder of what is reflected back to them

especially when ones concept of wild & free is a tit-bit misconstrued…

a little bit crazy, a little bit narcissistic, a lot a bit full of shit…

yet it is just like me

to watch and believe,

this kind of unexplainable 

unconditional i have,

that i wonder why i dont

 have for someone else.

im sure she’ll be back,

as im sure my walls 

build higher and grow stronger. 

watching from afar will just 

be a lost dream of long ago.

and the forrest i will have built 

will be open to most all, but one.



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