Two Way  

you never did have the upper hand,

not with me.

i was not the easily persuaded naive

puppy who followed you around, 

desperate for your attention.

i was and am the rare few who is and was 

very aware of their surroundings and can 

sense mischevious intentions and hearts.

your attention, along with most other 

things, had never held such water.

like a child who pretends nice and turns

around to smash things when no one

appears to be looking, you came 

into my life. i, smelling something,

figured ide see what this was all about.

at the end of it all, one could take pride

in thinking my heart was lovestruck,

but that just shows the ignorance 

in the pride one could very well carry.

it was never about your upper hand,

it was never about you asking me to

do nothing, it was never about you asking

for shit…it was never about what it was

that i could have from you…

it was all about taking what you dished

to me, turning that, into grace, love,

mercy, patience, and true genuine 

kindness with a “no-bullshit” radar 

attached at all times. 

i loved you. i still do.

but never was it in a way where you 

might think to come and go as you please

i was never the type to baby anyone or

give them a light slap on the wrist when 

wrong…no one comes into my house,

with muddy ass shoes, coming and going,

leaving a mess that they will never have

to clean up.

dont mistaken the time with me for a 

petty flattery like that of the upper hand,

my hand was always higher and smarter 

than your upper.

i choose to continue to give unconditionally when necessary, not because someone asked or because “i had to” but simply because, true love, gives when not wanted, when hurt, when used, when not asked for, when taken advantage of, and knowing the dirt clogging up your thoughts and conscience. love loves knowing you were always better and greater than poor behaviors and lack of presentness, inwardly and outwardly. 

love loves for exactly who and what you are and Lord knows i could have needed that kind of love when i was younger.

Lord knows i wish i had someone who

truly believed in me, who had faith in me,

when i did not even know what any of

that meant to have it for myself…

you are welcome.

-LH

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